I'm presenting you my rough draft of my book of poems that I'd been working on through difficulties and as enjoyment these last two years.

I recently made the decision to allow it to reflect the word of the bible the best I can.

I post it to be approved and reproofed by my audience and to challenge them.
But I mainly wrote it for enjoyment.

These are being posted in no particular order so please bare with me that
Its not in the most entertaining presentation

here we go


Home as I'll ever be


Seemlessly wanted the scenery
and got all the symbolism literally
its not like there was a place where I could stand
to be the subject of anothers gaze
as I was just trying to let go easily
to be amazed




Tables turning. ambitions burning.
ashes stirring. maybe learning.
while my ego feeling the blow with words I say




Be careful not to get my hopes up too high
I might just try to fly
and find that all my dreams are someone else's lie
naive to believe that the adventure awaiting me, would grow to become theme parks
walmarts, well versed nursery rhymes for hate mongerers that make for a claim that robbery is a way of life
whats out of reach never seems what its worth
do I really want to know what its like to experience birth
why do I think I don't remember
to find that I'm a statistic, demographic in what seemed so unique. earth
and cries are just someone's burden
no more reaching up high, to raise expectations to a youth that grow up to abandon all wonder but still want to justify their life full of unappreciation.
just another man at work
And all was wanted was to see the trees in the forest I once saw home
something well learned
and all I wanted was to feel like I'm not alone
live expressions grandiose like ocean waves, come back hitting full force
Wanted to know it was well worth the fight
drained of everything called life just to know I can feel alright
Here comes an army of a critic to set things right, pillage and mock
sarcasm and pettiness insues, to know that someone else felt more alive
I don't want to continue carefully with every word
I don't want to grow old before I see the season blossoming. The leaves falling in the midst of being alone.
Like those around me
reminded of their beauty turned to insults pulled them down just like an accussation turned around.
always someone coming to make kids sad, and abandon hope?
It was hope what was heard in the laughter as the scenery reflected a seemlessly ordinary day.
and yet the one we'd like to remember the most.
I don't know if I'll ever see the day of walking by the trees and listening to the reverie prose of simplicity. being enough of meaning
to belong seemlessly, long and far removed from any meaning but filled with the delight of the sway of wind moving the trees to let go of
leaves as I'm honored to enjoy the shower passing underneath
Satisfied as I'll ever be
Home as I'll ever be




Contradiction



unprocessed refuge salvage material to refine
takes so long to make twists and go right, matter what I do? Matter's more ifs stay gone and memory, not to. and less relevant to mention forgotten, buried.
Always ripe and ready present when
bit off enough and not more than what can be chewed, cacophany of joke added more to realize? or more to be alright. Less than standing to attention
as if it were speaking to who, address the audience, speech. stubborn, hardheaded, tooth and nail, and the rise to the occasion for thick skin, wouldn't want to see a dead whale
a proposal challenge to meet. Someone say" Your're stupid for intrigue" James Bond would lose his cool.
down to simplicity, swallowed up in potential, In a complicated world no one's taking me under their wing. Simplicity?
residual, remnant, unscripted
settle it, air, settle
settle for less, settle for weight, something to move then rest.

without thinking of a single one
like I need a reason. explanation, I suppose no one wants to hear, it sounds like treason
excuses smear the ink jot found
on pride, I've been playing too long this game of things

A man. alright. celebrate my good traits, charms, and a clever move, hold the niavety

I'm a man. certainly will have the world putting it on pedestal, care when creeping due to risks.

everything's a risk lest I keep it down to basics. and attitude functioning, not a factor to end all judgements.

remove pride to find the reason to feel disappeared and I'm really an alpha if it was something to gain.

win. reputation. measure. of a man's aqcuired taste and palate.

I don't know how to be something human selfaware, so my aim is straight, not contradiction.



losing


laugh and smile whenever I do
get your freak on and cus, because at the moment theres other things I'd like to
hard to say things that bring dismay
choosing between a lack of will and grace
choosing who should be in my life
learning to choose things that are wise
falling down
from the sky
Don't want to be
like that so save
and I don't have to ask why
No such thing getting high
losing the plot and the storyline


Every decision counts


every decision counts
for years to come
wanna play a game. you'll be won.
end up a rich man
end up a slave
and up a dead man at the crest of his wave
end up a skeleton who learns to behave
end up what might be the inevitable moment of change
given the circumstances I don't really get to do what I want.
pick up a style and not care, go fast before I get smart.
shows over.
partys over. but i gatta clean up. can't tell anyone. thats whats up.
had enough.
from a loser, sprouts a winner
if a saint, I was once a sinner



Pure and Simple, everything else


no judgement, no arrogance
no neglect, no pride
loving and compassionate is who I am
everything else is worth letting go
self reliance goes hand in hand
and for self reliance strength is needed
I do have to let other people do their thing
business, nonsense and do my best to bring tranquility,
tanguery to atleast myself




pure and simple
why not, I've tried everything else
going to give me a hard time about it
life goes on I suppose
no ones trying to stop me, no one wants to drop me
life is easier when rock free
I have to not believe in superstition or fantasy
base my faith on rhymes or technology
all lies go to the side of me
I know that life didn't always feel this way like it does now



fruit



touched the fruit too much
lost forever more to the perilous endeavors of knowledge
saw nothing but the repetitions of schemes acknowledged
I drink because I suppose its the one thing that can be given as mere remedy
for times of suffering, times of mass, even times of peace we enjoy
alcohol could that possibly be ridden
A branch like it won't be burned as if because its long and reaches the ground
but never thought I'd enjoy standing on the root of a tree such as this one
seen tree trunks and wonder what its like to see a forest cut down before my eyes
but atleast I have the scriptures



Left myself Behind


apology on my face
did I get the message
let go to return it
apology is the message
the one in owe is a liar
cuz they don't get it the first time
and focus on it
like it was the horizon waiting for the day to come back
better play fair, aimlessly lose the false gesture of love
didn't know it. Make the day great and theres no need to hope
the appreciation of what was made, the day wasted or accomplished.
not going back to having the same thoughts had ten years ago
hope theres no reason to wonder will I have them in twenty
never saw what I'm good at, spending what is plenty
In debt for being petty
that I lost sight of it
and lashed out
arrogance leaves its marks
I could see why no one lets me
shouldn't say anything about whats worth it
lost confidence in whats worth it
To realize a perfect bundle of mistakes
hiding under
and though I'm not that deep
and surface
I'm free everytime
I realize
my own bondage



Plagierism



those of truth always have power over those of lies
some say they made jesus walk by creating a generation of villainy
others will say its a situation of someone trying to make for innocence trying to make for their own justifiability
I know that celebrity or not judgement comes because its come on me. What does this exclude you brother, man, person,
and what you decide of thought and belief.


afraid or not. I'm here with my trail and there you are with yours think wisely of where you go cuz these times are not so.



New Currency?



oh how I dreamed that we could make ends meet so easily and see each other happy with doors open to the struggling to have that sensation
to some so familiar, we take for granted and yet unsavored or known to those left out to work.
I wouldn't know, I'm a stranger to myself. I come here dressed like I could care less. but
I care, care.
no more do I make efforts for gestures of a generosity that generations used to make the sound of a
if I saw someone's cell phone on the floor, I don't know if I should call and do what isn't done anymore, pay it forward never thought it
would make a new currency.
Its not like I yearn for someone to love, cuz really I'm having trouble loving me, wonder where to find what it means, I've gone mostly without the affections of that, to love, what is that?
I don't seem to be someone, I've lost touch with the genuine and made way for a mockery, and love is one of many things I know
its been a distance from me. How I was, thought I find it, didn't think its my crimes that got to me, and now I'm relieved to think I can see a chance to learn to walk out
without escape,
with the old becoming the guides for I can change in my story.



Plain Sight



I remember when I was
younger everything was fine like wine
and I couldn't tell the difference
how so many things could seem
right if the world notice whats in plain sight
didn't know that fire and cold
you live by, they exist to let you feel
both in the splendor of comfort of warmth and breeze of the wind in presence of timeless innocence of water
ocean tides
the innate recollections of a return to stillness as the trees have more to say when my old patterns, prenotion, don't inquisite.
dumbfound to make articulate interests,
coherent is less than specific
present is lived in a free unmeasured second,
Minutes are a suprise to find meaningless
time.. time.. tied when moments leading to moments
is a recipe for existance?
method has always stood place
spontaneous, spontaneous, sponsor and give yourself a wake up call
when rehearsing lost its flare, and losing run its course.
Hiding in plain sight, And with new clothes, no longer hiding
Odd what I look like, one jacket, pair of shoes, pants. and shirt.
turns out I was never the person wearing the clothes.
I wore something else, something entirely different and there was me, another person.


Breathing Instead of Lies


well atleast I get to see the show
and its good like I know
chance we meet, the person writing this
won't recognize me
like to have some life improvement
simplifying my perception
my vacation is a regular day
finally got back to caring
off to better things
though far away
For a guy who blew it
can really use it
properly, exit quietly
alive , confidence , passive
who cares who sees me
who cares I'm breathing





trade my words
for the warmth of breathe
reaching in the forest
a moment brightens red
a place I found rest, I felt it once
a sigh of embarassment, spent so many years
trying to be alone. people I noticed brushed up on me, distant relatives, wish they'd knew me.
manage stress, manage bills, manage to live to feel something real thats worth emotion, more than I care to give away
priceless, the day that changed me
whatever way was broken, it was worth being homeless
I see how simple it was, and yet simple still is.
to come back to who I am, thought I'd never see again. I thought I lost
my only friend and couldn't afford to mourn someone only I would notice
the only one who asked how I am, and didn't judge me for answering honestly.
I'm not well and theres someone who didn't walk away
He knew me and yet I forget he ever existed.
a fable for listening attentive ears?
a role model for the fatherless?
Someone to know as I grow older
sometimes life leaves an answer to all my whys.
forgotten, a trampled memory.
of someone who was on their way to being someone I know is me.
collided in the wrecklessness of an aging desperate who saw an opportunity impatient to get to it before I knew I had developed potential and realize it.
crash colliding reaching far
the person I knew, never again did I see but drowning, buried in a bad dream of disable, handicap gesturing. a part of a life no longer any way
to notice that it was, once the best I could hope to remember. me, my best. is the past, a grave. that never cries, facial muscles, and the head thats
left me with no reminder what personal space is like, I'm no longer, a me I can identify as nearing complete, coherent, feeling, distance is no such thing
in my permanent of being suprised but unable to notice the car accident I walked away from, too disoriented to assess the damage of what no longer there I can identify
my sensitive little spirit excited to live
injured and never could believe he knew what it was like to be alive. sensitive no more, can barely recognize I wouldn't know what to do with more
or feel what its like






Progress

breaking new rules
whats the point of the old ones
as I understand progress is made from old sons
I'd love to give an answer
but I'm not a very good dancer
music is more of a hobby
I'd like women for it to be more of a hobby as well

Compassion

touched so I've heard to be like angels or just making
contact with my heart
compassion a great big word
falls and humbles instantly
as I fall apart
while men hold on to what they know as they too their hearts fall apart
pride turns to arrogance to sadness like victims
never knew happiness, if fun was the only thing worth enjoying
from the start.
now i feel it
and can't stand such an unreachable love

No regrets

I don't know
Don't play the game and theyre
wondering what its all about
what happens if I do what
Im not expected to
and left questioning the mystery
millions flying
in theft?
taste so good
I thought I never would
know the difference
between life and death. and my thoughts
escape even though never out run
regrets

Respect

have respect for all things
give respect by giving others and yourself time

if someone is angry don't deal with them

don't think things are funny that are not

don't test things or people as they will have patience if you have patience

attitude does a lot with playing fair

if I don't second guess generosity
and kindness
and overlook integrity
I'll be fine

together with out anger

will make up my sense of

humility and humbleness

A strong person knows when to walk
away
a mature person knows how to walk
away from a situation


Error

all error shows itself if it
cannot be changed
no time of expedience or
indecency will last

surely there is a wrong way
and a right way.

and some things arn't worth
mention

error in me is my challenge
and obstacle and even though it is there everyday it has nothing to do
with others
but it will get in the way as long as I do not change
character whether I think it does

instead of giving others excuses to act
inappropriately, I will act appropriately and without hesitation
or retaliation?
sure lets try for that


snares

already tasted what it is to be king?
go ahead make a sound cuz whats on
the wing, lands hearts on
us cuz we trade spades
for a life we don't
cute, standing on a root
whatever, rather go
if your going to go with someone who's love isn't known
when were both left on shelf
mind, sublime
but outside
acting like snares, fun? no
caught in web
you know of some supposed


coy


stripper angel
isn't going to help live
regular people good enough
and even then, have to have excess?
try to shape down to a tee
sometimes be like bruce lee
atleast controlling appetites
atleast, sometimes feel alive
lost strength and the definition
of ease
relearn respect
isn't funny when thinking something
is only happening to you
don't want to have struts about
just want to free
feelings
how about never by choice
little bit of life, space to breathe
a heart
and don't have to play coy


Morality

No, then whats worth fighting
already lost






more lies to protect the
strong hold of one's old news
than truth for him to come to terms with
the moment of an hour


demonstrations
on tv
on the fence
hurting
getting stiff, Rest???
waiting for someone to convince
when they know
better do the right thing
know the right thing

battles won depending
if its real
morality,..


Not even

I'll be quiet and forget
I read such nonsense
maybe all this trouble is just
providence. the grandeur rich
with escape. there's no secrets in
heaven. and no rhymes to excuse mis..
maybe I love hate being me
miss out on everything
scooby doo, the mystery gang
can't help me take off whats on my..
path is like the moment endures
certainly its a bold statement
my legs run across the roads
and care less about the payment
can't keep this rhyme any longer
and my rythm is a motherfu..
days of having fun
till the day of judgement comes
one thing I forgot
was all who never thought
would be like me
hypocricy, I'd like to write
but tears can't keep from
smearing lines.
hard, hard, till death
do us part. but love life
like man holding a rose in strife
next line you'd think it was something
to do with a wife. I'm going to go
learn how to fly a kite. thats it.
not good enough, go watch good times, dyna..


dreaming


hearts of hearts, Unreachable love
childhood dream remembered
from up above
people want me to forget
so they can remember
something that doesn't matter
momentary rush to step on
love and satisfied to disillusion
such a merciful creature, cannot be found here
and so I must go
to where I will find
between me and the past only raining
so let go
cus a woman doesn't want me to give up
but for her


someday dead and people will say
enough said but hear, heart is still beating in original way
from life I'd like to never wake up from dreaming


move



this is the period when no ones good or bad
no point of view to be had
cus everyone knows what everyone else
is thinking
theres no story to tell till someone
makes a move
but no one knows where
they're going if they don't already



strife


strife is like a hot meal
you must breathe and blow on it
before you put it into your
mouth.



let compliments be said
wether back handed
show gratitude, be plain and short
and not clever




Don't waste energy on those you percieve to
be fools or unkind.

and don't bother speaking to those who will waste your time.
you can tell when someone is wasting your time.



truth is something better in small doses, sometimes in large.




perfection will not be reached instantaneously


progress can dissipate
by focusing on it




Welcome to the night



welcome to the night when no man
can work. a parade for the homeless
because not even the sheltered can
hide their hurt. clothing for everyone
each fits every size. Pleasure is like the
devils tongue, god cutting limits to everything was wise




Spot


to teach this class row by row
put on the spot
not just going to wing it, ding it

could be a japanese situation
and going to be like kung pow when I meet it
don't get it confused
archtypical situation
I'm usually in trouble
repeating itself?
got the prize
If worth the time
a shadow of whats there,
clothing in disguise. You think
a brand name to get listed
now this is all talk

whats it like to continue with change

keep from getting got


Skirt



everyone grinding their teeth
want to be in the lead
some things catching up to me
for a loser its kinda easy
just keep letting it pass by
just keep letting others win
ready, set, drop it, win
Im trying to get what your getting
Im not getting what your getting
While your finding out I'll be forgetting
my minds made up
my heart is in the right
woman, hold up or not
got a style in the works
I know, can't wait, If I call, a hazard, and a flirt
think I know, but I don't go passed to show
I've got no poetry so
Walk by in skirt,
and pour scorn out on the hurt
inspiration sometimes desperation
waiting for paydirt
be waiting along
destiny chose
maybe the one I did
maybe not
is there ever enough time to heal?


Lions Den?


thats what it takes to win
where to begin
Your beginning supposedly my end
circles and circles all day
everyone pretending like they're in the lions den.
now time goes forward, only one stop
but thats alright
sometimes even I'm licking my lips for another drop


Get Back up


crooked situation, desperate times might be my imagination
rhymes won't help me where I need explanation or good time
need answers fast cuz trying to get a sense of how I'm wrong
So I can have some peace
people trying to live their lives
put this down in simple english
problem starts with me
more than anything
when blaming others
brothers and someones mother
forgot what its like to wake up
and feel humble, stumble on a stumbling block and get back up

This concludes the first post as I don't want one post to run too long

Please note that I make no claim to be a teacher but only a student

Christian Thoughts

decide
  on what is good and forget about filth
 and what excites the night
 for I might change my mind
 
live like the day
 and be familiar with it
do not mind the disturbances
 of others
 for there is nothing to gain
 from them if you are in a
 safe place
 
live as one knows is right
 and let live
 
do not be overlooking of inequity
 and corruption unless you forget
 what it is and what it looks like
 
Do not be intoxicated by pride
 or ideas of indestructability


every moment is rich with life
 for those who live their ways
 in it and that lead to life
 
what is righteousness but the constant
 walking towards what is upright and good
 
Don't mind others and they wont
 mind me but I mind myself


Awareness is like wine
 meant to be saved
 for the right occasion
 
There are many places for
 the humble when humility is
 considered and stored


humbleness and humility doesn't
 change but it will change
 me
 
youth are not aware of
 the gifts they have
 if they are not taught
 
thrills and excitement arn't worth
 entertaining
 anger is poison to all who
 touch it
 and passion must be disciplined
 all this for tolerance for fools
 while they wear themselves out
 while I learn strengths that they
 might not
 
Do not be prideful or envious
 for I have no glory but
 that which is given
 and it is not taken or given
 by other men
 
Just like any lad in his path
 there is times when he is
 reminded of when he was
 weak in his youth


the patient and willing to be
 corrected will stand
 within reach of peace and prosperity
 
those who keep a reflection of
 themselves clean have a clean house
 
with understanding comes change
 upon oneself
 
laziness and sloth will not profit
 a man but that which he is avoiding
 
a simple man can do complicated
 things but a complicated man
 will have trouble doing the simplest
 things


Melodies

Where would the birds go if there were no trees
if there wasn't a nest then what about families?
you go ahead and appreciate that snowcone quickly

as much as you take, I try to let go
what do you take me for
I won't bring beliefs into this matter of discourse
human beings, you'd think you'd know
I try to let go for what I have not
I thought I could, no its unappreciated
I would, I thought I would,
Easily slip that bill into the idea of a conclusion
a question, and yet resolution   ?
drunkard when theres nothing worth living for
let go of obcenities

garments

Do not tear your clothing
 for fear is the test of our garments
 to see if we are sturdy in them
 or if they do not belong to us

Darkening World

like there is no fire in a darkening world
people will have to deal on there own
in the police, in the civilian, in the political
someone quote unquote said I performed in a fire in a darkening world
humor entails the celebacy that derails but I tell you that my sense of bliss fails in farse of profit in a darkening world
hate you me, cuz I see you I see reason to not want to see that in this hate you are my darkening world.
tell me that I perform, movies that created for this storm but a budget I did try, you lie, and I try to fail cuz I'm alright burning too late.
Here we are, for this one time illusions trial, for the slime of desert in favor for someone's trade and the heat of a burning trial.
I'm here waiting in the darkening world
what my worlds mean to me.  I can only wait and see as this is what it will mean less and less as violence becomes reality and evil is nothing less than a memory
when guns and smoke become hopeless. 
Christ will protect me in this dark world.

Its just money

my condition
restful and clearsighted
like to have control
very much
Better use of the internet
I'll take it from
waiting to put
peices together
for peace to see
that isn't what people want

something can look many ways
appetites are there but I rather
behave and appreciate
I should just learn to breathe
and forget about too much art
know one cares about that
its just money

ready

some other way
 so simple
 not making this easy
 until its easy for me
 mercy, passively
 humility
 somethings I can let go
 when I'm ready
 nobility with passivity
 integrity
 passivily
 I wish I had more friends

notion

more important than
 a vow in a moment is
 holding the notion
 of rapture
 pondering it, questioning it,
 contemplating it
 giving time to live it
 breathe it, have a regard for it


Sadness can be a treasure

kitty cats and
burglary
notice I'm in a hurry
next food, next coffee
don't even see the point
living in the world
with one place to go
respect a earnest honest living
to recieve, lost is the desire to be giving?
if on crack cocaine
to think one is winning
sad beyond measure besides light
sadness can be a treasure,  the weather
theres not much else to relate
tragic nor suicidal
no reflection
find a way to
find redemption

work

life learned lessons
hard learned lessons
life hurts
so put myself to work


after awhile funny
or hysterical
doesn't do it
anymore


if I don't
have humility and patience
what have I


please care

when animals play fair
don't want to eat a steak
more than medium rare
don't get high to this
so please care to take care
calling it as it is
someone in thanks
hope I'll miss

Every mans journey

life is nice until
made angry
and then down hill
every mans journey
to stop the fall
and not take others
down with them

Volition

its alright
To be meek and wise
than to become a
prideful appetite driven man
who's ambiton is bigger
than his heart and
volition

Believe me?

didn't realize I'd have so
 much power
 change dreams and
 wake up, a different hour?
 to experiment changed
 what I've been told I wanted
 I find besides myself, others also
 discomforted
 breaking through what I knew
 Isn't easy
 I'll have people tell me
 please, please believe me
 
 well, I'm not pleasing you.  If you want I'll tell you what to do. 
 can start by telling the truth

Despoil

forgive every person
who did something to me
rather than live with an agenda to
despoil them and glorify such an awful thing

decieved

am I decieved or am
I deranged
situations around me
or do I change
illusions are perfect
well almost,
being lied to
by the presence of what might as well be ghosts

pursuits

While I was busy reminescing
a wicked human being
I confess
in the change of pursuits, I pretend
even though not what I choose

crazy?

Can't fit all that crazy within the lines
Might have to color outside the lines
Loss of self knowledge
Loss of self worth
Not to levee the
bridge towards perdition
Overlooking the qualities
from which to stand on
My foundation should remain firm


not for better

a computer to love?
sex addictions a cage
style from controversy,as they use to say all the rage
most don't want to know anymore the character of whats a sage
time aligns rights like minimum wage
but thats a thing of the past
not be an original outcast
learning things that
doesn't represent whats past
not hiding myself
I see that
watching a thing, a thing thats past
whatever weather
when saying wrong things, I can't help you
but heres a letter, I don't know
when trying to measure and gauge but not for better


Steps


Steady progress
if I don't make
sudden steps
age doesn't go backwards
I can see youth in me
if I'm willing to
give a helping hand
slow down
because I can't be machoman
I understand
a gentleman. Ready, set, go represent
reflection will
get in the way of me
ever seeing myself
maybe no ones there and
haunted by
my steps
my ambition animosity
an acquired taste
don't see the point in
ferocity
Have a long way


what happens

what happens when I stop
illusion,  strong hold delusions
no further to embrace
worry
fury
hurry?
no one's listening?
damage done and yet
still time
and I don't wait
Do I have faith?
I ask "God, my life be in you"
Chess or Checkers only I lose
slowly "I believe and respect
and do what you left written for me."


Trees

the reflection of every person in my own
 the peace of every heart
          a peice
                    of my home



Let it all go and be absorbed
into the trees

Post #3
advice on art


don't lose hope, but of course for
 many of us artistic people losing hope
 is where it starts.  don't try to
 sum up your creative input and output
 in a moment, sometimes you will
 have to try to come to something new
 which is good,  you can't be a master
 if you never take time to rethink
 your steps.
  Whether your writing a novel, a literature or an album.
 you may not be satisfied by it and feel its
 a failure.  but life is
 a work in progress
 difficulties are as common as air

sunset


sunset sunrise
did I miss
the breese
did I miss or wait my turn
did I get angry
lost a chance
for empowered democracy
a problem, sometimes I've got many
sometimes none
silence comes in handy
its not like I can steal that

confessions

feel bad now
don't have to feel bad late
write a lyric
compensate for the thoughts of an alligator
servant, servant
a host and a waiter
to the flesh and lost
cater
on my own I never could
know what I was doing
pull me out through the ground
to feel the difference
naked
theres no room for luxury
or prestige in lyrics
confessions, confessions



Welcome to real life

welcome to real life
 where only the fool is blind
 easy it once was to know
 when crossing the line
 journeyed far away, far away
 from home
 forgot that I was on a journey
 and forgot that I had a home


darkness can't hide

all on the same side
 till the darkness can't hide
 seperate pleasure from business
 as if survival from pride
 let the fools be fools clowning around
 while lengthen reach to higher wits
 of course have decency and discipline
 misinformation torn down bit by bits

my sons

remember I felt alive
and there was plenty
to save
I was brave
without guns
want this
and better things for my sons

pretentious

its never been something out of sight for them that wouldn't eat them up inside
if the world around me doesn't allow me to forget lies
then certainly I would seem pretentious
people are trying to get me to kill myself by my own accord
I realize now that people doubting me isn't encouragement
and by no means is it an attempt to strengthen me

let others stand in the rot of their own hands as they think they can put someone else as the idol of what they stand
me I'm trying to change.  since when is that anyone's business.
you'd think even my own cousin would see the good in that.
burying me in problems I don't have
lying behind my back
fire me from a job I don't have
Not letting me do the good thats in me to do as if its for me to fear what they lack

discard

this is what the day has brought
 the days that are good I forgot
 what is special about me
 is nothing
 but in life there is something to be remembered
 something to be forgotten
 something to be kept
 something to be discarded


I'm not waiting for the snare
 if I'm not waiting for people
 god will increase my yield
 and signs and images
 will not replace what is
 always there
 So much can be easily
 dispoiled
 without one realising it
 Its best to stay positive
 and to stay positive
 I have to be clean
 and alert


Rain on my work

Do my job and others do theirs
 Like the days of old
 calm like a river when it rains on my work
 looking to get by with thoughts
 and rhymes but do they reflect what
 I have learned
 sometimes words, sounds, and lights
 arn't enough
 life needs to happen
 waiting for love or
 or the unloved
 keep my word and my
 silence cus sometimes
 it can get tough
 a breath of fresh air
 can be like a word
 that is fair
 when I have nowhere to stand
 because I've been living
 in nowhere land

moment to moment

 From moment to moment
 from what is not real I'm not able to
 lean
 strength is made from enduring
 and withstanding
 violence is not what
 I speak because peace is lasting
 with time I'll get over this
 like a time when fasting
 wait till a time like pastures
 forget all of those
 getting aggressive passively
 cus all they're trying to do
 is keep me from being happy
 the same goes for me
 for posterity
 once in a while
 keep my mouth shut


love forever

Love forever, forever red
 as well as blue
 as well as whatever color
 it should
 make it pink?
 make it green
 never weak

breathing while eating

Breathing is not the same
 thing as eating
 so don't get trapped in a prison
 of thinking
 sometimes whats wrong is what
 I'm feeling
 don't focus on others
 cus I've got enough with
 what I'm dealing
 I don't know how to fix my
 feelings


tree branches

tree
 branches fall
 on me
 If I would
 I would
 notice the color of the leaves
 gold shiney
 autumn leaves
 turn red and
 fall to the
 ground as
 I fall asleep

ambishions perish

I can't feel very good
 the world around me needs me to calm down
 but sometimes I can't reach
 myself
 to tell myself how sorry
 I am
 every little bit of pain that I
 uncover, seems to bring trouble
 how I would like to sit
 down somewhere and let
 my ambitions perish
 without someone looking


spurts


same old controversies of
change
 venomous snake
yea
thought I could join the league of men who stepped on us to feel strength, the only thing
same old issue since high school
people don't change
forgot what I knew
they only get worse
paths are chosen, I still have my stage to make for growth spurts
people keep cheating
if thats all they ever did, and still lock up truth?

my own

Make moves of my own
 don't have to subscribe to other
 peoples nonsense
 I'm able to breathe
 I'm able to see
 my back and neck is healthy
 I'm able to blink
 I'm able to move my eyes
 where i want to
 making eye contact and
 smiling is not a challenge
 I get to have fun again
 and feel sorry for myself
 reflections and progress actually
 mean something

Follow

Should I follow, no never
 already had,  Its bad
learned I'm not all that
mad? phad? bad?
music videos a cliche and I want to represent myself thats why I never stand infront of a camera
I guess I'm just a little awestruck by all the glamour
and I don't even bother to get into glamour rock and hairmetal
I do like ballads and I'm not fooling anyone when meat loaf has more style, I use to be fat.
mcdonalds

Unforseen Solace

Unforseen solace in the things
 I took time to sit and settle
 and blow away in a
 moments notice

no foot hold for the wicked

self esteem
 pick it up
 wash it off
 Have problems?
 nicotine and alcohol
 isn't going to solve them
 what will
 who knows
 what its like to be
 staring at ghost
 skating on hydro ( water sking )
 an eye for confusion
 and bullies
 and effort for them, yeah, never

lulluby?

I'd sing me a lulluby
 again, the one where
 I'm going to
 live a long time
 and life doesn't matter
 cus I'm happy
 and I can live life
 without caring too much
   for a while
 not me, I'm poor

mountains

I forget the reasons why
 why I do things
 someday everything
 I didn't say
 but saved
 waiting for me to
 explore
 locked doors, keys, what once
 seemed like lost islands
change, the wind is blowing
 change the direction the
 mountains are forming

no mistress

there is a heaven
if there is no mistress or affair
in marriage
I wish there was something
I can say
that would stir me from
drunkeness awake
my heart can't feel
this way all the time
drinks lathered with lime
as though endless bottles of wine

No friends

the feeling of
loneliness that one
can come to bare
its suppose to be
right there
but no instead
after having been pushed
aside from what was my life
I don't have any friends
and thats alright, I have christ

In denial?

I'd be in denial if I said nothing was wrong
I got things on me like
arrogance and hypocracy
desires lurking under my identity
theres no easy way
to carry my weight
aint no use waking up
and sleeping late
watching everything
on tv and youtube
isn't ganna change anything, what I know
if medium is the message
watching hours and
not retain a passage
ambarrassed to ask this
but what do I do from here
cuz looking like a fool
with a mouth of madness is not what I adhere

for better

Its better to walk away someday
 somehow someway
 don't know what to say lost for words
 in the shoes
 of supposed never ending dues
 rhymes out of line
 and still less than what should be paid for?
 lies

Girls grow up

All of my girls grow
up to get married
Disney?
Haven't even
haven't a chance
to get miscarried
excuse me please

money instead of life

From darkness into light
as innocent as we once slept curled and cradled
to walk and chase each other playing in the sunlight
pulled from the comfort of family, summer, and home was no word living life
in the wake of the days when you can remember your first words and knowing what adults were teaching you to write
the schedules came out of no where and schedules without notice would be handed for the rest of your life. 
for the sake of money.


love home sick

I either had strawberries or sunflowers in my eyes
no room for candy in my life
thought I'd dine next to an ocean of wine
the horizon like it wasn't just another line
train leaving the station soon
looking where to put luggage
to ride out of June



I don't like
my ketchup with
too much crazy


For you
be the best
criminal you
ever knew?
a secret
you can
kiss and
fall in love with from
where I blew?


Entrance to life

do well and the world around me will change
some people know this
others have to find out
there are those that do it
and those who don't know
what its like to get out
exit fear
and begin a entrance
to life
writing this is no advantage or pride


all the things I can't do
living vicariously and sadly
and temporarily
I have to be fair
because I'd like to think I don't care
or know or understand


Poeish

Tell me its worth letting go, transgressions will find
there place on earth and its caring.  Apathy sometimes it seems
is the answer. Stepping on feelings and humanity like it was scorpions and snakes
to adulterated passions of disaster. stop at mistakes. 
Don't care enough to fight,
Care enough to go from darkness to light.
Don't care enough to join a difference between black and white.
Care enough to reach for glory of heights.
Don't care enough to know about the selfishness I hide in my love and my dream about life, as its all been done before and someone wrote it better.
Cus worth it and we don't, unless its a purpose to be perfect.  yeah its a progress. Learning.
Get what we don't deserve cuz what we do is good enough, till we don't take a toward approach.
Don't care enough about my enemies to stop the chains of remorse? 
Like hunger pangs,  birthing and childhood pains.  and cycles like sun and rain.
Yawn, sleep and wake, love and hate?  Not that I have too much of any.  But for someone, the only thing to think of.  where to start or stop.  People don't want to tell me whats of benefit to both of us?
Liability goes beyond the sight of supposed criminals.
I can't choose what I want.  Pockets full at a casino, destruction, and limitless lust. thats whats avail.  Not my list to shoot for a bucket if there was one.
Early is the day of reckoning, and mourning of a grave.
and yet still blood there's to taste?  with these words, answer
to the riddles, poison addictions, worldly snakes?  Faster and faster is the pace
yet slower is the way.
Edgar Allan Poeish in his last days.
An attempt at humor bleeds right through into fading second phase.
Casket for the rainbow? as it saddens no one, except those who are amazed.
Dare be the challenge, of arrogance, humility, naivity, and innocence.


fear

fear, a belief
that contrives
into disillusion and
disbelief, diregard and disdain
for that which
we could not peice
together
youth, our innocence
do we really know what we
want or running from
good or bad


act

Act but do not fear
don't give into the
ignorance of your peers
blend in but don't pretend
don't lose your head
be careful, take care
win the fight with nonviolence
they will try to convince
as others always will
don't believe the lies


From Earth

they may come from hollywood
but you come from earth
so valuable the time
we have
I hope you can see this
and view it like birth


Parent

Parent
not today
not tomorrow
be a good boy
cuz women want that
I've already lost the sincerity
to find a date well at least
wait to celebrate on your wedding day
a day long from now
parents happy

Simpler times

calm encompassing
simpler times
to think we know so much
and yet we never try


No room for abuse

clear as paper or maybe just paper thin
I can no longer say words of negativity
with a smile or a grin
light shining day
to keep myself awake
to be encompassing
never forget what that is
take your life into your
hands
and do with it
the responsibility
given to you
certainly there is no
room for abuse


No room for abuse

clear as paper or maybe just paper thin
I can no longer say words of negativity
with a smile or a grin
light shining day
to keep myself awake
to be encompassing
never forget what that is
take your life into your
hands
and do with it
the responsibility
given to you
certainly there is no
room for abuse

no wonder

Self improvement so I can forget who I am
waiting for the day of excitement, like a dog waiting for its master in the summer heat tied to a leash,  plenty of space to run and yet, out of reach
losing plot, cuz denial seems easier than realizing the meaning of an empty page I'm hiding, tucked away, yeah like it won't see the light of day.
  neglect, anyway.
trying to convince my sorry self that I don't need help. general human necessity.
like I'm better than everyone else.  Stronger than any loser that ever walked the earth.
so rude that I don't see what I look like
when other people look at me.
too immature, irresponsible, exageratedly outrageous to someday qualify to be one of these.
and woman can tell that I'm far removed from learning any lesson that rings
(anything) remotely resembling a wedding bell,  its strange that all ,I had to do was not make a big deal
not being first, not being the best, not being noticed, not being the hero of your heart,
I expected instant attraction like I was prince casanova superman.
it turns out I have a undeserved massive romantisiced ego. and I'm a fan
illusions of granduer is my middle name. my selfesteem is so far away, its unrecognisable. I cover it up, saving place, standing noble
Listening to the airwaves of what people say
what works, I throw the procedures away, mediocre, I stay.
a shining example of incompetence. my only consistancy is half baked and as always running late.
it sounds sarcastic cuz its not funny how I grab the wrong end
its no wonder things are just pretend
I should really consider following directions from
mapquest.
its no wonder its just pretend
my luck might change if I don't pay attention
to what I can win
be who I am regardless, unbiased, subtle, benign, harmless
hardly defined by reward. content. priorities on my list are things I can barely afford.
be nice to myself like I had a friend
its no wonder its just pretend
my luck might change maybe when the flowers grow cuz I take care of them.
Its no wonder its just pretend
waiting for wings like I deserve them
Its no wonder its just pretend
longing for what I can't see the value in
its no wonder its just pretend
more focused on what happens if.
and if it comes at all, what then.
the moment I've been waiting for
dare I ask, will I cherish it.
my luck might change if I'm just a little greatful
to be learning lessons
brushing past folks who are happy to give them. unknowingly
maybe my luck might change if I'm greatful to muster
a little humility, a sign of faith, around others who are also trying to find the way.
I'm not the big role in my little world anymore.
a fish too big for its small bowl.
maybe I can be a
traveler in a story where I'm comfortable
being one of many.
easy smile, occasional grin
make a simple plan to determine my ends.
expectancy, get out of my head
no wonder its just pretend
chasing moments in the wind
hoping to experience
to forget the one I'm in.
no wonder its no longer pretend
no luck without within

Self Evident


red is where I live and where i sleep
all I have in my head.  close my eyes thats all I see
in the light of day.
blue.  sadness endless memories of days of one mistake
and what came before seems frozen in the ice worthless
of any meaning for my eyes to pursue.
doctor.  who knew.   more than any patience, the knowledge of
unforseen solace of what it took to forge instruction for a life
that would yield something new.


Self evident

red is where I live and where i sleep
all I have in my head.  close my eyes thats all I see
in the light of day.
blue.  sadness endless memories of days of one mistake
and what came before seems frozen in the ice worthless
of any meaning for my eyes to pursue.
doctor.  who knew.   more than any patience, the knowledge of
unforseen solace of what it took to forge instruction for a life
that would yield something new.


without

Without
getting away from my problems
Im barking up the wrong tree
if silence is golden then whats
it worth working silently
think money can buy me a new life
well, its not that easy unfortunately
lost in a tide of the rythm of an ocean of animosity
won't calm down till it reaches calm loving hands on the other side of the sea
what if what I wanted, is too late, and came up without
My heart aching and starving to find I just want to empty
desire for romance,
a smile to those who wear it with style

Water under the bridge
as I wonder I can see that there is still a chance to be there
I can try
me I don't have the same life to go back to,
some look to the moon as if were alive

Like an eagle protecting her young
she's going to grow up and fly straight,
even though my flaws and mistakes, she's leaving
and I'm rest assured as I see her take off
progress made failure into something that thrives

choking on water under the bridge
maybe theres time for a new song

Old news

Even though no one's on my side
I've got all the energy I need written in black and white
sweet memories throwing stones at me from a story I can write


I don't think I'll be making a mess of things
weight of the scales, remembering
I want.. doesn't work anymore
taking off all the fat, cuz lean is where its at
I don't know what direction my life was ganna take but don't
want a madder's hat
so the world's a stage, words people say.  Doesn't matter privacy or a public place
save my tears for lasting grace.
close my eyes to realize theres debt to pay

nothing special, nothing new
the perversion of principle
was there ever a principle I could
from the echo of words
smash my hand against an idol as pretentious as I would
maybe I'll learn something more than being vain
something new
besides pain
thats old news

Fear Jesus Christ, who holds the keys to death

When jesus was alive he did and made for his good works of peace
and justice by what is the empathy to the flesh
He is in the spirit and abides by no mans law and one thing I can say
is fear Jesus.  Forget that guy, He's the one who holds a sword more powerful any thing
you want to anguish or hold your ambitions to.  Do not test his sword for he is the man
who has made for justice among the living and the dead.  And surely if you couldn't love him, you will fear Jesus Christ.
Begotten son,  abides by no man.  Fear him.
Love him.  and destroy all idols.

Fear Jesus Christ, who holds the keys to life and death.